PARENTING OF TEENAGE BOYS

Parenting of Teen SON

Teen Son needs your attention

There are however certain problems that your teenage son faces which he might not be comfortable discussing with you. A few of them are listed below.

"My parents don't care about me." - Teenager needs emotional support from their mother as well as father more than from anyone else. If parents are busy ignoring their teenagers, than that can be a serious communications gap.

"I hate myself." – Boys also suffer from depression. They can be sensitive and emotional and depression leads to many problems, which if not taken care of can be devastating.

"I do want to live" - Depression and inferiority complex, unable to compete, unable to meet the expectations of parents etc. lead towards extreme thought of suicide among young boys.

"I love her” – Disturbingly, but your son will go through infatuations and love. Make him understand the differences of infatuation, love and marriage.

"(An older male friend or relative) keeps sexually abusing me." Most abuse occurs at home, occurs more than once, and occurs as a result of the actions of a family member or friend of the family. Boys may have serious reactions of shame, guilt and self-hatred following these episodes.

"I did something shameful". Teenage boys do masturbate and so your son too.

Talk betwen father son

Teenage boys may pose to be something for the outside world, which is a imaginary self-confidence and bravado, and normally hide the shame he felt at his feelings of vulnerability, powerlessness and isolation.

Boys take time to open themselves. They think it's necessary that they handle their problems alone. The boy who is having problems may seem cheerful and resilient while keeping inside the feelings of being troubled, lonely, afraid, desperate.

Listen and observe him with attention : Being parents you should always be alert. Look for those early signs of trouble. These signs include everything from bad grades to rowdy behavior, from "seeming quiet" to manifesting symptoms of depression, from using tobacco or drugs or alcohol to becoming a perpetrator or victim of violence. Thus become sensitive to the early signs of the masking of feelings.

Talk to him and understand his viewpoint : Be patient to him, don't push him and don't be nagging, so that they don't feel afraid or ashamed to share their true feelings. Show him that he means a lot to you and that you are proud of him.

Give him time : Boys who do share their feelings often take longer to do so than girls do. He has to determine how much time he needs to remain silent before opening up to share his feelings.

Make him feel comfortable : The next step is to make him feel at ease. Rather than nudging a boy to sit down and share his feelings with us, parents can begin by simply joining him in an activity that he enjoys. You can forge a connection that then enables him to open up.

Respect the real boy in him : Finally, parents can often help boys take off their masks by sharing stories about our own experiences, mistakes and mischief. By discovering that, yes, his parents too have felt scared, embarrassed, or disappointed; the boy begins to feel less ashamed of his own vulnerable feelings. 

He feels our sympathy and discovers that we understand, love, and respect the real boy in him.

Dr Jyot 
Teen mentor

WHEN Can Education institute guarantee employment to students?

IIM, IIT, NID, NIT can guarantee 100 % campus placement, then what about other colleges in India? Today many college degree certificates cannot fetch employment. Many engineering colleges are now at verge of closure, due to want of students. This year 2017-18, 30000 engineering seats remain vacant in Gujarat state only.

WHEN Can Education institute guarantee employment to students? If education curriculum is not updated every year to take care of changes in the environment / business / industry / life due to technological changes, these education institutes will remain behind and become obsolete.

Primary school education can be given the best in Mother Tongue. But India have so many different languages. Even in one state many other Indian language speaking have migrated. So need to use technology to promote HOME SCHOOLING in mother tongue using distance learning model. Each state can take tow Annual exam, one after V std and another after VIII std in mother tongue. English can be taught as special language separately with extra emphasis in school. Students can give exam from any state the exams conducted by their home state.

From std IX, X, XI, XII only one board CBSE in India in every state. Students have nos of options to study, including sports, music, classical dance, drama. Performing arts, performing sports, commerce and business subjects. Let them learn and get groomed in their choice of subjects.

Join to complete a Dream :100% campus placement of students

I Currently work for students grooming std 6th onward on various aspects depending on their age. 

I look for Industry Academic Interface due to rapid up-gradation of technology and process and materials, the education institutes need to upgrade their curriculum in consultation with industry experts. 

Students also need to learn skills and have practical experience in industries through industrial visits and through guest lectures by industry experts.

School students and parents also can be made aware by industry visits and presentation. 

Industry Associations can take up this skills development and curriculum up-gradation, industrial visits and expert lectures. 

Recently I visited and joined hands with IPI (Indian Plastics Institute, Vadodara Chapter) to make Students chapter in every engineering colleges around Vadodara gujarat India. Here students and industry experts will create opportunities for interaction and curriculum update according to technological shift and demand by current environment.

Please connect with me for better tomorrow for students.

Dr Jyot Mohan, Vadodara  9978613218   doctorjyot@gmail.com

Education reforms revolution in India is the NEED of the hour.

Education reforms revolution in India is the NEED of the hour.

1.    Allocate & increase upto 25% budget to education.

2.    STOP census duty, election duty and polio duty for teachers. Teachers will never miss classes due to other government activities. Additional government work can be done by so many unemployed youth by outsourcing through them.

3.    Give zero-collateral loans for college education up to 10 lakhs. No collateral needed, if you live and study in the Gujarat state, then you are eligible, that is it. The loan should cover tuition fee, books, laptop, equipment, hostel fee, mess fee etc.

4.    Give School Principals the power to appoint Cleanliness Manager at a appropriate salary upto Rs 25000 per month. He/she has responsibility get the school cleaned in & out and upload pictures/videos daily on an app. Implications of this app are that every morning one can know the exact no. of malfunctioning school toilets, the exact no. of out of order tube lights across all government and aided schools etc.

5.    Have private school refunding fees on a state wide scale. Most of private schools increase fee 10% every year.

6.    Arrange teacher training from IIMA or equivalent for teacher training.

7.    Provide Tablet/laptop for each teacher. This will save the time of data entry and take attendance and other administrative and communication work, also the parent will receive SMS by lunchtime if kid absent from the school. Audio visual presentation and teaching cane be practiced.

9.    Give Principals total autonomy for hiring replacements for teachers who have gone on long leave. No need to send any file for approval to ministry.

10.Give privileges to contract teachers also-

·        Fixed monthly pays (50–60% salary hike)

·        No more firing-> selection -> rehiring cycle at the end of EACH academic year

·        As many casual leaves as regular teachers, earlier they had no leaves.

·        Experience certificates just like regular teachers

11.Plan for a CCTV camera in every classroom of all schools. Surprisingly every stakeholder wants it there!

·        Principals want it to ensure punctuality of teachers.

·        Teachers want it as it results in students in being self-disciplined.

·        Students want it as the rowdy behaviour of theft/violence stop due to it.

12. Accord the same respect to teachers as soldiers. Rs 1 Crore for Stabbed Teacher’s Family. Believe that teachers are as important to India’s future as soldiers. Same *1 crore* rule is applicable to any citizen belonging to Army, BSF, CRPF, CISF, NIA, NDMC, MCD, Police, Fire Fighters.

13. Remove the most atrocious private school policy – criteria for nursery admission.

14. Do video recording of Nursery admission Lottery. Earlier schools were totally operating without any restriction.

15. Stop fancy & costly admission prospectuses. No school can charge more than 25/- for any registration. Want to give 100-page fancy prospectus with glossy pages, now give it for free!

16.Take over a private school by force If any malpractices found in school administration and management

17. Remove of management quota from school admission.

18. Set up model schools which will pave roadmap to ultimate goal – *“Making govt schools better than or equal  to private schools”*

19. Display no. of illiterate students publicly. Isn’t it horrifying that 74% of Class 6th kids can’t read their own book.  Establish a public dashboard in each school with data on how many kids cannot recognise characters, can recognise characters, can read words, paragraphs, stories, complex stories.

20. Identify and create a batch of “teacher’s teacher” on education trip to best institutes.

21.Class Room strength to be hiked by 50% in 2yrs, with the aim is to ensure that 30 students maximum in each classroom.

22. All schools to be whitewashed during summer vacation on a compulsory basis. Budget and approval allocated for total revamp of infrastructure across all schools.

23. All staff rooms to get a face lift to ensure a welcoming ambience for teachers – high-quality tables and chairs, tea/coffee vending machines, clean toilets.

Need for National Exam Authority of India. EXTERNAL students with EXAM fees only

Need for National Exam Authority of India. EXTERNAL students with EXAM fees only

Engineering & Medical & Paramedical Colleges have ENGLISH medium only in India. so National EXAM Authority can be established to conduct exam all over India for all colleges & Universities. Every year for all semesters/year exams will be conducted by this National Exam Authority of India.This method will standardised the education at one level all over India.

It will save cost and make education affordable to students. There is no need to pay lakhs of rupees of fees and physically move to colleges. Many colleges do not have adequate as well as QUALITY faculties to teach.

Technology have made information availability very easy. Online material is only click away. So colleges and universities teaching theory is very easily available almost FREE from online sources.

So college and universities have to change their curriculum and pedagogy completely to meet the demand of grooming students to meet their professional needs.

Colleges should be more practical and experimental oriented teaching methodology in the classroom and outside the classroom.Case study methods and site and business visits every week is necessary. Many college only arrange one visit in one semester, which is very less. Industry experts lectures needed on weekly basis. 

Government should start admitting external students in their engineering colleges for Degree & Diploma as well as for ITI, who will not be attending any classes in colleges. External students will study on their own with their own sources and appear for the college exams. External students can even join industry and have on the job training and experience and also study for the certificates as external students.

BODY changes from Girl to Woman need care & respect

Change in BODY during birth to death....

When a BABY GIRL is born, her body is not much different then BABY BOY except the Genital. Till puberty both the gender grow without much difference. But as she reaches to PUBERTY or say TEENAGE, the body takes different shape than boy.

BY the end of Teenage, she is having BODY different then BOY. Then comes pregnancy in her life and again her BODY changes. After delivery of her child once again her BODY changes. Again pregnancy and delivery. Motherhood. Menopause.

Her body is most flexible to care of all these natural physical changes. She likes to remain beautiful and charming even after all these changes.

So, do respect and take care of female body in every relationship of yours. She is daughter, sister, niece, friend, classmate, office mate, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, grand mother... Every role plays a different role in her life and your life.

WILL Universities and colleges take responsibilities of 100% placement or create unemployed youth

WILL Universities and colleges should take responsibilities of 100% placement

Parents and students pay lacs of rupees to get into higher education. they do get degree. But then they are unemployed... How long this situation will continue. Will universities and colleges become responsible to take responsibilities of CAMPUS PLACEMENT to every student.

On one side, Industries and corporate wants skilled work-force, on the other side unemployed degree / diploma holders.

Curriculum and methodology has to match skills development as required by Industries.


http://www.business-standard.com/article/news-ians/iim-b-top-management-iit-m-top-engineering-institute-hrd-116040400369_1.html

Human Weds Mobile : choice is ours : self-help only can cure

Human Weds Mobile : choice is ours : self-help only can cure

Mobile evolution has made revolution in India. Almost everyone is hooked to mobile. many have more than one mobile. Tele-density is so much increased that calls drop has become normal. 24X7 people of almost all age are busy with mobile. The mind is busy with more than one work at a time. The most worst one, is driving and talking on mobile.

Can we save ourselves of this addiction? Can anyone else help us?

Only we ourselves have to be disciplined to use the mobile. Otherwise health and stress problem likely to create lifestyle diseases at younger age.

Dr Viviek Jain : gave a good vision of affects of excessive mobile use by HUMAN in a humorous way. Mobile has become our spouse or even more than the spouse.

His video is available for details on yjis link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngbiFZb2L8w

Dr Jyot 

BLOWING for strong LUNGS religiously or just playing.

OXYGEN is needed for our lives. Thanks God it is not yet taxed. One can consume oxygen available in the air every moment, everywhere. Although available free, do we consume fully. Do we ever realize that most of the times we are not inhaling completely to fill our lungs fully. Similarly we also do not exhale 100% out of our lungs.

So, that is our daily life style. Then how can we make our LUNGS powerful. If we go to any clinic and asked to measure our lung power, we will be given  an calibrated instrument SPIROMETER in which we have to blow out or exhale fully with power.

 This can be exercised by blowing BALOONs daily. How fast and how much a balloon is full of air?

Another very good religious practice one can follow is blowing of SHANKH - CONCH. In Hindu religion during prayer, it is a ritual to blow Sankh. It is called Sankh-naad or Voice of Conch. Most of the Bengalis & south India temples have this practice.

Even one can observe blowing of BYUGAL–TRUMPET in SCOUT / GUIDE / NCC, on many occasions or start of any event/game. or learn to play any musical instrument where one has to blow air into it.

When run or play outdoor games and do some physical work, we can see our breathing become speedy and heavy. Automatically we inhale & exhale more to meet the demand of oxygen to the body.

SO we need to play, run, or blow to make our lungs strong and cultivate habit to inhale & exhale better in our daily life.

Parent and Teen Daughter communication of personal problems need better understanding.

Father as well as Mother plays a very important role in the life of TEENAGE Daughter.  Nuclear family & joint family have its advantages and disadvantages. There are question about PUBIC hair, its saving & cleaning, about menarche/menstruation, its timing, cleaning, recurrence, pain, about breast development and bra, about body hair, about pimples, about sexual feelings, about opposite gender attraction and so on..  

As soon as daughter enters in her PUBERTY years, Mother has to have opened communications on the PUBERTY developmental issues and her health & hygiene.  In the absence of such communication channel, daughter may seek & search information about her personal growth and reproductive health with others, mainly from friends. Many times the friends also may not have adequate knowledge. Sometimes it increases the risk of molestation of daughter by someone near-one. Teenage sexual abuses remain unnoticed most of the times due to fear and shame both.

In the case of only FATHER-DAUGHTER situation, the matter becomes worse. Daughter in most of case feel shy to ask the FATHER about her personal issues. In such case maybe a female teacher may help or a counselor in schools may be of help.

Nowadays, lot of information is available on internet. But, while searching such information one is likely come across PORN sites unintentionally. POP UP window of porn sites may lure them to watch details and lead them to other such sites.

So, it is always better that parents themselves become more knowledgeable on PUBERTY growth issues and as per age discuss with daughter.

For more information one may visit blog & website

http://teensnparents.blogspot.com

http://www.teensnparents.com

or ask specific question after surfing the above, if at all needed:

http://teensnparents.com/contactus.htm

Irregular menstruation periods in PUBERTY are normal, but can be TEEN PREGNANCY also, if sexually active.

Irregular or missed menstruation periods after the first MENARCHE, during the next year or two are very common. In some girls this irregularity on menstruation cycles continues for many years, before it regularise to its MONTHLY cycle. The girls may conceive, become pregnant and mother in their teens due to early teen marriage.  Also due to incidents of rape on teen girls and the rising levels of promiscuity among teenagers are causes of concern leading to teenage/adolescent pregnancy.

Puberty is the stage of adolescence when a girl ovum gets mature and can sexually reproduce. A preteen girl can become pregnant even before her first menstrual cycle, as ovulation, the release of first egg from the ovary, does occur before the first period (MENARCHE). The first ova-ovum-egg can become fertilized. A teenage girl can get conceived without actual penetration also. The sperm can travel upwards from the external genital area and result in pregnancy. It is therefore very important for teenagers to have proper knowledge and understanding of their body and its functions to avoid sexual abuse/molestation or before marriage or becoming sexually active.

The teenage pregnancies due to marriage or sex between unmarried teenagers have issues concerning the higher rates of nutritional and obstetric problems associated. Also, the ignorance and immaturity can result in higher health risks among teen mothers and their babies. The symptoms of a teenage pregnancy are not different from a normal pregnancy. But similar symptoms during PUBERTY except vomiting may occur due to hormonal changes or other reasons.

* Breast enlargement and breast tenderness

* Irregular vaginal spotting or bleeding

* Stomach cramping & Fatigue

* Increased drowsiness and moodiness

* weight gain

* Missed period

* Nausea/vomiting

Unfortunately, the teen girls with irregular periods may not even realize that she is pregnant until well into the fifth month of pregnancy – when she starts feeling the baby’s movements. In spite of experiencing above symptoms many teen girls do not tell anyone due to unawareness or embarrassment, and as such often go unnoticed by friends and family.

Any teen girl who experiences irregular or absent periods or any of the symptoms and (who is sexually active / molest /incest/rape), is advised to undergo a pregnancy test. This should be done by self or by gynaecologist if any sexual intercourse has happened with her. An early diagnosis of pregnancy helps the teen girl to adjust emotionally and physically.

Usually, pregnancy is associated with weight gain but if nausea and vomiting are significant there could be weight loss. Pelvic examination by a gynaecologist may reveal coloration of vaginal walls, coloration and softening of the cervix, and softening and enlargement of the uterus. Finally, an ultrasound sonography may be done to confirm the current status of the pregnancy.

The ultimate "cause" of teenage pregnancy is being sexually active. A sexually active teenager who does not use contraception has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within one year. Many teenage brides become pregnant within a year of married life due to unawareness on sexual relationship and pregnancy. Some behaviour patterns for a teen girl becoming pregnant include:

* early dating behaviour

* Unhealthy/sexual abuse environment

* high-risk behaviours (smoking, alcohol )

* lack of a friendly support group

* stress and depression and lack of love from parents/family

* exposure to sexual violence

* financial gains

 
Indian society does not accept unwed mother, teenage or adult. She experiences isolation, guilt accompanied by stress and depression, low self esteem resulting in lack of interest in studies, limited job prospects and lack of a support group or friends.  Such condition may lead to suicide due to teen pregnancy.

Health wise married teen mothers have a much higher risk for anaemia, pregnancy-induced hypertension, genital tract infections (which may lead to premature labour and delivery), large baby within a small pelvis and sudden infant death syndrome. The major complications in young mothers are thought to be iron deficiency, anaemia, disproportion and birth of low weight unhealthy babies.

Similarly, infants born to such teenage mothers are at higher risk of complications of pre-maturity, low weight, accidental trauma and poisoning, minor acute infections, lack of immunization or vaccinations and developmental delays. While sexually active teen girl in the non-pregnant state has a high possibility of getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), chronic pelvic pain, cervical cancer, human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) infection and acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS).

Pregnancy at teen age especially an unwanted one leads to severe emotional and mental trauma for the girl. Hence, important programs are those effective in delaying attempts at sexual intercourse. Parents, schools and healthcare professionals should have open, honest, and educational talks with teenagers and preteens. Parents can also provide advice to teenagers about how to prevent unwanted teenage pregnancy.

Since unprotected sex is the cause of teen pregnancies, contraceptive counselling of married or unmarried teen girls; is highly important. Birth control pills, the most popular form of contraception should be taken regularly or as advised else risk of pregnancy. Barrier methods such as condoms, diaphragms, and foam have high failure rates among teenagers, due to sporadic and improper use. To avoid pregnancy in the event of unprotected sexual intercourse, teenagers should be made aware to inform parents immediately and resort to emergency contraception. These information help teenage girls to avoid getting pregnant even after having sex, the best way however is to educate them on the importance of abstinence (sex after marriage). Unfortunately young girls have never given much importance to contraception and only think about it after they have had an unwanted pregnancy.

It is high time that young girls take it upon themselves to make their choice of contraception – because it is they who suffer from the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. For reasons of fertility limitations teenage pregnancy should be discouraged as more years are available for more pregnancies. In young women subsequent pregnancies should be discouraged as rapid repeat pregnancy in young mothers increases prenatal risks. For the benefit of their family and themselves, unmarried teenage girls should display responsible sexual behaviour and abstain from sex.