PARENTING OF TEENAGE BOYS

PARENTING OF TEENAGE BOYS

There are however certain problems that your teenage son faces which he might not be comfortable discussing with you. A few of them are listed below.

"My parents don't care about me." - Teenager needs emotional support from their mother as well as father more than from anyone else. If parents are busy ignoring their teenagers, than that can be a serious communications gap.

"I hate myself." – Boys also suffer from depression. They can be sensitive and emotional and depression leads to many problems, which if not taken care of can be devastating.

"I do want to live" - Depression and inferiority complex, unable to compete, unable to meet the expectations of parents etc. lead towards extreme thought of suicide among young boys.

"I love her” – Disturbingly, but your son will go through infatuations and love. Make him understand the differences of infatuation, love and marriage.

"(An older male friend or relative) keeps sexually abusing me." Most abuse occurs at home, occurs more than once, and occurs as a result of the actions of a family member or friend of the family. Boys may have serious reactions of shame, guilt and self-hatred following these episodes.

"I did something shameful". Teenage boys do masturbate and so your son too.

Teenage boys may pose to be something for the outside world, which is a imaginary self-confidence and bravado, and normally hide the shame he felt at his feelings of vulnerability, powerlessness and isolation.

Boys take time to open themselves. They think it's necessary that they handle their problems alone. The boy who is having problems may seem cheerful and resilient while keeping inside the feelings of being troubled, lonely, afraid, desperate.

Listen and observe him with attention : Being parents you should always be alert. Look for those early signs of trouble. These signs include everything from bad grades to rowdy behavior, from "seeming quiet" to manifesting symptoms of depression, from using tobacco or drugs or alcohol to becoming a perpetrator or victim of violence. Thus become sensitive to the early signs of the masking of feelings.

Talk to him and understand his viewpoint : Be patient to him, don't push him and don't be nagging, so that they don't feel afraid or ashamed to share their true feelings. Show him that he means a lot to you and that you are proud of him.

Give him time : Boys who do share their feelings often take longer to do so than girls do. He has to determine how much time he needs to remain silent before opening up to share his feelings.

Make him feel comfortable : The next step is to make him feel at ease. Rather than nudging a boy to sit down and share his feelings with us, parents can begin by simply joining him in an activity that he enjoys. You can forge a connection that then enables him to open up.

Respect the real boy in him : Finally, parents can often help boys take off their masks by sharing stories about our own experiences, mistakes and mischief. By discovering that, yes, his parents too have felt scared, embarrassed, or disappointed; the boy begins to feel less ashamed of his own vulnerable feelings. 

He feels our sympathy and discovers that we understand, love, and respect the real boy in him.

Female Breasts serve dual purpose for milk as well as sexual.

Female Breasts serve dual purpose for milk as well as sexual.

Breasts primary function and most important is feeding of her milk to her baby after baby's birth. Breast feeding of BABY is a must for all mothers for good health of Baby as well as mother. The physical and emotional bonding happens between mother and baby. From one year to two years breastfeeding can continue, till baby starts eating other food.

The female breasts work differently during sex fore play with husband and during lactation for nursing the child. When a woman nurses her baby she expects her breasts to respond and feel "different" from when her husband sexually stimulates her. She may not expect to feel "sexual" pleasure when her baby sucks the nipple. Mother who nursed their baby for at least two months, their desire for sex likely to return at a faster rate than it did for the mother who did not. Few mothers may experience sexual arousal while nursing. The let-down reflex can cause some pretty intense and sweet sensations and there is the aforementioned chemical and psychological connection between the nipples and uterus.

The sensitivity of a woman's breasts to stimulation varies considerably from one female to the next. There are female who find their breasts extremely sensitive to their own and/or a husband's touch, while others do not experience any pleasant sensations at all. Some women have more sensory nerve endings located in their nipples and breasts than others. A female's relationship with her breasts also has an influence on their perceived sensitivity. A female's menstrual cycle often influences the sensitivity of her breasts, many experience periods of breast tenderness that makes any sexual stimulation unbearable. The sensitivity of the breasts to stimulation may flip-flop during pregnancy and nursing because of physical and psychological changes a mother experiences during this time. There is no single rule that applies to all women regarding breast sensitivity.

The connection between breast stimulation, sexual arousal, and genital sensations some women experience is the result of the psychological and chemical connections mentioned above. These chemicals are released during nipple stimulation regardless of whether a teen or adult female has ever been pregnant or had nursed before. This is demonstrated by the fact that some female's breasts always produce a little bit of milk like liquid, starting at puberty. If a female engages in frequent nipple stimulation, simulating, fantasy having a newborn baby sucking at her breast, she will likely to start lactate. A female does not have to find her

ARMPIT smell good or bad?

Sniff this and feel good: male underarm sweat makes women feel more relaxed or sexually aroused?

Being exposed to the smell of a sweaty male armpit can make a female feel calmer or annoyed or awkward. Male sweat contains one or more chemical signalling compounds, known as pheromones, which can affect both a female's state of mind and her reproductive hormone levels.

Pheromones play varied roles in triggering ovulation and in sex drive. Pulses of this hormone released from the brain increase in size and frequency as women approach ovulation.

Researchers reported two years ago that men can tell by smell alone when women are at their most fertile. The had male subjects sniff T-shirts worn by women during fertile and infertile stages of their menstrual cycles and found the men overwhelmingly rated the smells from the shirts to be most pleasing or "sexy" when they had been worn during a fertile phase. The latest findings also suggest that if the active pheromones in male sweat can be isolated they may prove to be the basis of new fertility drugs or relaxant perfumes for women.

Adolescence Sexual Maturity Years

Child to adult is a journey of 4 to 7 years, includes Puberty and Teenage, where  maximum Physical, Emotional, Sexual developmental changes occur,Make teenagers aware of all these changes, health & hygiene along with intellectual education process. Body & Mind needs grooming for future Motherhood and Fatherhood during these Years.

My PhD I started late in life at 46 years of age, after experiencing a TEENAGE son in my home and his life. Parenting of Teenage son and daughter is becoming challenge. Teenagers are much more informed and demanding, searching for their own identity and empowering their own authority on many decisions for themselves and for family.

 PUBERTY, I found is the best period to be understood by pre-teens and their parents. The sexual organs which were there during BIRTH of every boy and girl starts maturing during onset of puberty years.  The boy and girls are now becoming MAN & WOMAN is few years. its transition years.

Unfortunately in India, due to education system, most parents and even students are focusing all the available time on getting good marks in exams. They forget the physical development through playing outdoor sports or doing exercise or going though physical activities. 

Teachers make parents responsible and parents make teachers responsible on giving adolescence education on development of BODY & MIND. While all media are bombarding different information to these preteens and teens.  

A girl's body is made sexually active and ready for motherhood during these years. A  boy's body is also become sexually active and ready to become father. Menstruation and Ejaculation need to be understood for their importance in reproduction and married life and for future parenthood.

My workshop videos are free for education to reach to millions of teenagers and their students. After doing chemical engineering and MBA from IIM calcutta and spending 33 years in marketing profession, I now realised to give back to society by education students on sexual health, physical & emotional changes and how to take care of it.

Teenage girls are answered for every query on their physical and sexual development. Be it menstruation , breast development, conceiving, pimple, pubic hair hygiene etc. SEX word is not to be seen as a DIRTY word.  SEX is a basic need of the mankind, of every human being, for reproduction and for happy married life. Parents need to discuss  sexual development and sexual health with their children at age appropriate.  It is a biological need, it is a biological development of primary & secondary sexual organs.  Indian society will have to get ready to interact  with students now.

WHEN Can Education institute guarantee employment to students?

IIM, IIT, NID, NIT can guarantee 100 % campus placement, then what about other colleges in India? Today many college degree certificates cannot fetch employment. Many engineering colleges are now at verge of closure, due to want of students. This year 2017-18, 30000 engineering seats remain vacant in Gujarat state only.

WHEN Can Education institute guarantee employment to students? If education curriculum is not updated every year to take care of changes in the environment / business / industry / life due to technological changes, these education institutes will remain behind and become obsolete.

Primary school education can be given the best in Mother Tongue. But India have so many different languages. Even in one state many other Indian language speaking have migrated. So need to use technology to promote HOME SCHOOLING in mother tongue using distance learning model. Each state can take tow Annual exam, one after V std and another after VIII std in mother tongue. English can be taught as special language separately with extra emphasis in school. Students can give exam from any state the exams conducted by their home state.

From std IX, X, XI, XII only one board CBSE in India in every state. Students have nos of options to study, including sports, music, classical dance, drama. Performing arts, performing sports, commerce and business subjects. Let them learn and get groomed in their choice of subjects.

Join to complete a Dream :100% campus placement of students

I Currently work for students grooming std 6th onward on various aspects depending on their age. 

I look for Industry Academic Interface due to rapid up-gradation of technology and process and materials, the education institutes need to upgrade their curriculum in consultation with industry experts. 

Students also need to learn skills and have practical experience in industries through industrial visits and through guest lectures by industry experts.

School students and parents also can be made aware by industry visits and presentation. 

Industry Associations can take up this skills development and curriculum up-gradation, industrial visits and expert lectures. 

Recently I visited and joined hands with IPI (Indian Plastics Institute, Vadodara Chapter) to make Students chapter in every engineering colleges around Vadodara gujarat India. Here students and industry experts will create opportunities for interaction and curriculum update according to technological shift and demand by current environment.

Please connect with me for better tomorrow for students.

Dr Jyot Mohan, Vadodara  9978613218   doctorjyot@gmail.com

Education reforms revolution in India is the NEED of the hour.

Education reforms revolution in India is the NEED of the hour.

1.    Allocate & increase upto 25% budget to education.

2.    STOP census duty, election duty and polio duty for teachers. Teachers will never miss classes due to other government activities. Additional government work can be done by so many unemployed youth by outsourcing through them.

3.    Give zero-collateral loans for college education up to 10 lakhs. No collateral needed, if you live and study in the Gujarat state, then you are eligible, that is it. The loan should cover tuition fee, books, laptop, equipment, hostel fee, mess fee etc.

4.    Give School Principals the power to appoint Cleanliness Manager at a appropriate salary upto Rs 25000 per month. He/she has responsibility get the school cleaned in & out and upload pictures/videos daily on an app. Implications of this app are that every morning one can know the exact no. of malfunctioning school toilets, the exact no. of out of order tube lights across all government and aided schools etc.

5.    Have private school refunding fees on a state wide scale. Most of private schools increase fee 10% every year.

6.    Arrange teacher training from IIMA or equivalent for teacher training.

7.    Provide Tablet/laptop for each teacher. This will save the time of data entry and take attendance and other administrative and communication work, also the parent will receive SMS by lunchtime if kid absent from the school. Audio visual presentation and teaching cane be practiced.

9.    Give Principals total autonomy for hiring replacements for teachers who have gone on long leave. No need to send any file for approval to ministry.

10.Give privileges to contract teachers also-

·        Fixed monthly pays (50–60% salary hike)

·        No more firing-> selection -> rehiring cycle at the end of EACH academic year

·        As many casual leaves as regular teachers, earlier they had no leaves.

·        Experience certificates just like regular teachers

11.Plan for a CCTV camera in every classroom of all schools. Surprisingly every stakeholder wants it there!

·        Principals want it to ensure punctuality of teachers.

·        Teachers want it as it results in students in being self-disciplined.

·        Students want it as the rowdy behaviour of theft/violence stop due to it.

12. Accord the same respect to teachers as soldiers. Rs 1 Crore for Stabbed Teacher’s Family. Believe that teachers are as important to India’s future as soldiers. Same *1 crore* rule is applicable to any citizen belonging to Army, BSF, CRPF, CISF, NIA, NDMC, MCD, Police, Fire Fighters.

13. Remove the most atrocious private school policy – criteria for nursery admission.

14. Do video recording of Nursery admission Lottery. Earlier schools were totally operating without any restriction.

15. Stop fancy & costly admission prospectuses. No school can charge more than 25/- for any registration. Want to give 100-page fancy prospectus with glossy pages, now give it for free!

16.Take over a private school by force If any malpractices found in school administration and management

17. Remove of management quota from school admission.

18. Set up model schools which will pave roadmap to ultimate goal – *“Making govt schools better than or equal  to private schools”*

19. Display no. of illiterate students publicly. Isn’t it horrifying that 74% of Class 6th kids can’t read their own book.  Establish a public dashboard in each school with data on how many kids cannot recognise characters, can recognise characters, can read words, paragraphs, stories, complex stories.

20. Identify and create a batch of “teacher’s teacher” on education trip to best institutes.

21.Class Room strength to be hiked by 50% in 2yrs, with the aim is to ensure that 30 students maximum in each classroom.

22. All schools to be whitewashed during summer vacation on a compulsory basis. Budget and approval allocated for total revamp of infrastructure across all schools.

23. All staff rooms to get a face lift to ensure a welcoming ambience for teachers – high-quality tables and chairs, tea/coffee vending machines, clean toilets.